For the last month or so I have been MIA from all social media and you know how they say that it is something we all should? Well I disagree! Maybe it is good for a couple of days, like a mini detox, but a couple of weeks? Not so sure…

 I’ve missed you guys! Of course I am well aware that I don’t know all of you personally but your comments and messages and all that fun interaction was apparently something I was really looking forward to, throughout my day.

 First of all thank you for your concern but fortunately nothing bad happened. The Instagram stories and posts will start appearing again and from a whole new place. You see, my dear followers I decided it was time to go out of my comfort zone, so I packed my bags and moved almost as far as could but still be inside my country. I took on a very demanding but interesting and fulfilling job somewhere I’ve never been before, Santorini.

 For many travelers Santorini is a must-go destination or a lifelong dream trip. It wasn’t for me, I am what we call a ‘city girl’, so I hadn’t visited this island, nor did I ever had the wish for it. But when an opportunity for a really nice job appeared, I took it. And here is where you should pay attention to my choice of words. I didn’t ‘jump on it’ like any other person would, I just accepted it…

 I saw the faces of the people who asked me where I was heading to, light up with excitement, wishing me good luck and telling me how they’d like to come with me. All the while I remained impassive, too shocked by my own decision to leave everything I knew behind. And not without reason.

 I’ve heard somewhere ‘leap and a net shall appear’. Last year I saw a very near and dear person leap and a net stubbornly refused to appear. I saw this person fall and struggling not to crush. Now, that came my time to jump, I did it very reluctantly and with a dose of fear. But I did it. I leapt. It wasn’t easy but surrendering everything familiar to me was both terrifying and freeing.

 Maybe it is a little soon to tell but I think I can see the net. Maybe for me it appeared. Maybe it will vanish just when I’m about to touch it. Only time will tell. Now, I am just trying to enjoy the ‘fall’, like a first time bungee jumper, equally thrilled and scared.

 Will the net appear? Will the rope hung on? I know I am…

KISSES.

E!

 I will cut right to the chase. I don't believe in Valentine's day. Not in an angry feminist way, not even in a bitter single girl way, but in a very romantic i-want-to-express-my-love-every-day-of-the-year way. The notion that we have to have a specific day to remind ourselves to appreciate the love we have in our lives is confusing to me. I believe that when you are lucky enough to have someone who wants you in their lives in every way, from a simple like having you around to a cherished kind of love, should be enough motivation to appreciate them every day. I understand that being in a relationship is not always easy, it is not all love songs and kisses under  the stars. In fact being in a relationship is very hard. There are two people with different opinions, or ways to see the world that somehow found each other and now are together. And in order to stay together they have to have all kinds of compromises, they have to put their egos aside and work to make their  relationship good. And exactly in that point is where my dislike of Valentine's day appear.
 You show up, you find someone, you do all the necessary  stuff to stay together and then you actually need a specific day to remind you to show your love? In the midst of life, is it so difficult to take a moment and appreciate what you have? Every couple should have its own day -or better days- to celebrate their relationship. The day of your first kiss, your first date, even the date of your worst argument to remind you that you survived it and you will survive all the others who will inevitably come. Because to find someone, in this crazy world, who will make their hug feel like home, who will kiss away your tears, who will support you in every way they can, is nothing short of a blessing.  So say it every damn day "I love you". Even after a fight, even after a long day at work or after a night that couldn't be better.

 Say it.
 Show it.
 Feel it. 
"I love you". And trust your partner to do the same. 

 The magical thing about being in love is that it steals away the meaning of other words "be careful", "have a good day" are phrases that mean the exact same thing. 
 My personal favorite is right before I close my eyes in your hug, "sweet dreams". It's my last "I love you" for the day. "Have a nice day to work" is my first.
 But I should have told you from the start, I am a romantic that way.

KISSES.

E!

 Recently I stumbled upon a Pinterest picture, it wrote ‘as lost as Alice, as mad as the hatter’ . Having been previously to an adorable Alice-in-Wonderldand-themed coffee shop, I found it whimsical to go there again by myself and think these words, which they felt like they were stuck in my mind.

 As I drank my tea –the appropriate beverage given the place-, with my thoughts and my notebook as my only companion, I realized that, these particular words stayed with me because at times I’ve felt this way. Aren’t we all? Is there anyone who can boast that never felt lost or a bit mad? But why should that be a bad thing?

 We’ve all been lost at times, but when Alice found herself in this dire situation, she embraced it and actually had the time of her life. Though we cannot all be this lucky, if we really try we may find our way back, or wherever it is we want to be.

 Questions that leave us feeling astray will always be a part of life. Did I choose the right career path? Do I appreciate enough those who love me? Am I all that I can be? All these questions, left unanswered will bring chaos in the mind and the feeling of being lost will grow stronger.  These questions demand to be answered and we have been taught that the only acceptable answer is ‘yes’. Therein, I found, lies the problem. Because if the answer isn’t the ‘correct’ one, we will continue to feel lost. But what if the answer is ‘no’? If we summon the courage to answer honestly, ‘no’ is a perfectly acceptable response, seeing that it opens the way to change.

 If we can admit that the road we’re on, is the wrong one, we can always change paths. It will be an arduous effort –since we don’t possess the potions that help Alice through Wonderland- but I feel that everything else is better than feeling lost, and later trapped…

 The same goes for the hatter that was labeled mad. The question remains ‘why’? Because as Cheshire cat said his reality is different than ours? Personally if I could live a life with such constant joy, with loyal friends and with a job that satisfies me so much, you can call me mad any time of the day!

 As children we often heard that our dreams are unrealistic –mad- and sometimes they truly are. With great disappointment  I realized that I cannot become a fairy or a pirate. Despite though the odds I am working endlessly on becoming an actress –for the time being an amateur one-, which is needless to say another dream defined as mad…

 Lewis Carroll created a world full of possibilities, of dreams coming true. The bitter truth though is that ‘’the only way to achieve the impossible, is to believe that is possible’’ cannot always come true, but I think he attempted to teach us to try our damndest before we give up. Personally, when I find myself fed up with the real world, I try to seek comfort in his words:

‘’A dream is not reality, but who’s to say which is which?’’

KISSES.

E!

 The whole thing started when I purchased a black swimsuit. I uploaded the above photographs at my Instagram profile (@elliefilippidou) with said swimsuit and I was -actually, I still am- quite fond of them. I had no idea that this bathing suit is considered by many ''too sexy'' and ''provocative'' and that by uploading them I would unwittingly invite every overly confident man to message me, with at best, sleazy comments or worst requesting to send them more intimate pics.
 At first I was amused, I do not tend to dress too sexy and I'm quite shy about the way I look, was my choice so out of character? And if so was that a positive or a negative step?
 After discussing it with friends we all agreed that the bathing suit is indeed sexy but the photos weren't so provocative or sensual enough to reveal a woman willing to ''shake that thang'' -actual quote of one of my 'admirers'-.
 The truth is I knew from the start that my choice was revealing but after years of playing jump rope with my weight and feeling insecure, I relished at the thought of having enough confidence to buy it and wear it in public, for once to not be self-conscious about my looks.
 Don't get me wrong, despite the way it feels it's going, this post isn't a feministic attack on ''men who view women as objects'' or about fat-shaming or skinny-shaming or even society-shaming!
 This post is about how we view ourselves and how this view can quickly change due to some random comments from strangers on the internet.
 Of course there are women who wouldn't bat an eye at these comments, who would be able to ignore everyone completely, but I think the majority -myself included- yearn for approval no matter its source. I am not here to judge which attitude is right or wrong, in fact I find them both healthy and acceptable. But I am here in an effort to convince myself and all the others who may be reading this post to embrace Blake Lively's words: I never think about how other people will respond to the way I dress.
 And if this advice didn't inspire you maybe what I try to keep in mind will, don't take anything personally from anyone you aren't personal with.

KISSES.

E! 

 I was always fascinated by art, in whatever form it expresses itself. Naturally I show great favor to theater, so much so, that I forgot to notice of those others expressions of art that surround me, that surround all of us.

 From a lowly street artist to the grandest sculpture of a radiant city, art is everywhere, that is of course if we keep our eyes open.

 Scrolling through the photos of my latest trip to Turkey I noticed maybe for the first time, this particular picture. It is from Ciragan Palace, now 5 star hotel and one of the  finest examples of architectural art. Those neo-gothic windows which blend harmoniously with the baroque style of the palace made me realize how much I had underappreciated architecture and its beautiful craftsmanship.

 Since this photograph of Ciragan inspired me to explore the virtuosity of architecture, I did a little research about this palace, which housed several sultans but unfortunately only for a short period of time. It had to demonstrate walls built from the finest marble and traditional wooden roofs. But its charm doesn’t stop there. It either inspired a secret affair or aother piece of art, this of storytelling! According to the legend the palace rumored to house the secret love affair between the wife of Napoleon the 3^rd and the sultan Abdulaziz.

 So there I had it, from something that started as admiration for the art of architecture became a journey to the art of fiction –as my research firmly suggested- to a whole different kind of art, that of discovering the hidden craftsmanship everywhere. Because once you go inside Ciragan palace a whole new world awaits you, full of beauty. From the Japanese art of arranging flowers to the most exquisite gourmet cuisine the art of pleasuring even the most delicate palates.

 Then I really started thinking. If we assume that the world around us is like this palace that waits for its visitors to appreciate it, then we have to open our eyes to the things around us we find ordinary and value the artistry that is hidden inside them.

 Those thoughts open a new door! If I was in the mood to see and admire the beauty of art I didn’t necessarily had to go to a museum. I could very well open a book from my bookcase, watch a movie or the more difficult go for a walk at the nature and seek this special form of art that it is not man made, but nevertheless waits for us to go and admire it.      

 As some of you may have noticed, I kind of abandoned my blog but it was not without reason.

 I so wish I could tell you that my life was full with weeks of fabulous activities that didn't left me any time at all for writing. The bitter truth is -although I did have a nice time and occasionally a very entertaining and fun time- that the muse we call inspiration refused to pay me a visit. 

 So I went to search for her. I saw plays and movies, I read new books and reread old favorite ones, I went for drinks with friends and for walks alone -that's where I took the above picture- but it was all for naught. Did the world around me had stopped inspiring me? That was a depressing thought!

 It was on one of those ''missions'' for search of the unattainable inspiration that I stumbled upon something Picasso once said: 'Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working.' That made me realize that I hadn't picked up my pen once. I was just in a staring match with my notebook and loosing! I could certainly not admit defeat from a blank piece of paper..

 So I lifted my pen, felt its weight, passed it through my fingers, I even started doodling on the page. I did everything I could thing of in order to jump start my creativity. All the while wondering what did all those authors, writers and bloggers do when they hit the wall? I assumed that everyone has at some point of their lives experienced the dreaded 'writer's block'. Since I had no one to turn for this kind of advice, I thought that I needed a new adventure, something to take my mind of this situation and hopefully give me material to write about.

 It took me more time than I am proud to admit to realize that I was thinking so inside of the box that I couldn't see the solution that was in front of me all along. I was thinking the lack of writing as a problem instead I could think of it as a new adventure. One I had never encountered before. And I did just that.

 I turned the page of my notebook and started chronicle this new predicament, and you know what? The words started flowing through my mind and into my pen. Even if someone sees this post as the dullest thing he/she ever read ( I mean I am writing about not being able to write) I really don't care. I just hope that with my work I might be able to ignite even the tiniest spark in the mind of someone who has found itself in the same position.

 We've all been there, some for days, some for weeks, some for years. But I refuse to believe it is because we have nothing left to say but because we are afraid to say what we want for fear of judgement or rejection. The truth is that, it could happen either way, even if we stay silent. So speak, write, express yourself, do whatever sets your soul on fire. The right people will be by your side ready to help you keep your fire alive. 

 Or so I desperately hope.

KISSES!

E.   

 It was one of the most intense experiences of my life.
 These are the only words that I can use to describe the magic that took place during the few days that I performed my monologue.
 This unexpected gift came when I was offered the chance to be a part of a play that consisted of three monologues, performed by three people.
 To be able to go on stage and and tell a story executed by only one person is one of the things I find the most challenging -and thus the most exciting- acts of theater.
 The monologue. It is stripping your soul bare and opening your heart for the audience to see. It is being completely exposed in front of strangers, willing to let them look inside your very being. It is death and birth, a curse and a blessing. It is real life magic.
 Apart from the selection of an interesting enough piece, to keep the audience engaged, everything else fall upon you. On your ability to take complete strangers on a journey with only the tools of your body. Your voice, your eyes, the way you move on the stage... Everything is being scrutinized and judged. You have no one else to rely on if you miss a line, no one to save you if you make a wrong move. Everything -and I mean everything- come down to one thing, how well did you prepare?
 The exact time the spotlight hits you and all eyes are upon you, you have to forget the lines so you can make them sound like you just thought of them. You have to keep every aspect of your personality backstage and become an entirely different being. Because the only way to convince anyone you are someone else is to become someone else. Otherwise it is not acting, it is just playing make-belief.
 When it comes to monologues all the intensity of acting is being multiplied by ten, because you may not be able to see your audience but you definitely can hear them. Sometimes the absence of any sound -the stunned silence, the complete concentration on your words- is the most rewarding experience. Others, a sigh of approval or a thrilled catched breath, is your wish come true. But there is and every actor's nightmare, the restless audience. That means only one thing, you have failed to catch their attention and they just concentrate on being comfortable on their seats.
 A director once told me that ''you don't want your audience comfortable, you want them on the edge of their seat. Eager to drink the words that will come out of your mouth''. His words stayed with me through the years, echoing through every performance and always on my mind, keeping me motivated and in the pursuit of achieving them.
 So this experience, like any other, is finished. Leaving me emotionally exhausted but simultaneously excited and wanting more. Because regardless of the countless hours of preparation, of the constantly doubting and improving, nothing beats the pleasure of a standing ovation.
 And for those who are still riddled why I do what I do, the only reply that comes to mind are the immortal words of Oscar Wilde, ''It was only in the theater that I lived''.

KISSES!

E.