I was always fascinated by art, in whatever form it expresses itself. Naturally I show great favor to theater, so much so, that I forgot to notice of those others expressions of art that surround me, that surround all of us.

 From a lowly street artist to the grandest sculpture of a radiant city, art is everywhere, that is of course if we keep our eyes open.

 Scrolling through the photos of my latest trip to Turkey I noticed maybe for the first time, this particular picture. It is from Ciragan Palace, now 5 star hotel and one of the  finest examples of architectural art. Those neo-gothic windows which blend harmoniously with the baroque style of the palace made me realize how much I had underappreciated architecture and its beautiful craftsmanship.

 Since this photograph of Ciragan inspired me to explore the virtuosity of architecture, I did a little research about this palace, which housed several sultans but unfortunately only for a short period of time. It had to demonstrate walls built from the finest marble and traditional wooden roofs. But its charm doesn’t stop there. It either inspired a secret affair or aother piece of art, this of storytelling! According to the legend the palace rumored to house the secret love affair between the wife of Napoleon the 3^rd and the sultan Abdulaziz.

 So there I had it, from something that started as admiration for the art of architecture became a journey to the art of fiction –as my research firmly suggested- to a whole different kind of art, that of discovering the hidden craftsmanship everywhere. Because once you go inside Ciragan palace a whole new world awaits you, full of beauty. From the Japanese art of arranging flowers to the most exquisite gourmet cuisine the art of pleasuring even the most delicate palates.

 Then I really started thinking. If we assume that the world around us is like this palace that waits for its visitors to appreciate it, then we have to open our eyes to the things around us we find ordinary and value the artistry that is hidden inside them.

 Those thoughts open a new door! If I was in the mood to see and admire the beauty of art I didn’t necessarily had to go to a museum. I could very well open a book from my bookcase, watch a movie or the more difficult go for a walk at the nature and seek this special form of art that it is not man made, but nevertheless waits for us to go and admire it.      

 It was one of the most intense experiences of my life.
 These are the only words that I can use to describe the magic that took place during the few days that I performed my monologue.
 This unexpected gift came when I was offered the chance to be a part of a play that consisted of three monologues, performed by three people.
 To be able to go on stage and and tell a story executed by only one person is one of the things I find the most challenging -and thus the most exciting- acts of theater.
 The monologue. It is stripping your soul bare and opening your heart for the audience to see. It is being completely exposed in front of strangers, willing to let them look inside your very being. It is death and birth, a curse and a blessing. It is real life magic.
 Apart from the selection of an interesting enough piece, to keep the audience engaged, everything else fall upon you. On your ability to take complete strangers on a journey with only the tools of your body. Your voice, your eyes, the way you move on the stage... Everything is being scrutinized and judged. You have no one else to rely on if you miss a line, no one to save you if you make a wrong move. Everything -and I mean everything- come down to one thing, how well did you prepare?
 The exact time the spotlight hits you and all eyes are upon you, you have to forget the lines so you can make them sound like you just thought of them. You have to keep every aspect of your personality backstage and become an entirely different being. Because the only way to convince anyone you are someone else is to become someone else. Otherwise it is not acting, it is just playing make-belief.
 When it comes to monologues all the intensity of acting is being multiplied by ten, because you may not be able to see your audience but you definitely can hear them. Sometimes the absence of any sound -the stunned silence, the complete concentration on your words- is the most rewarding experience. Others, a sigh of approval or a thrilled catched breath, is your wish come true. But there is and every actor's nightmare, the restless audience. That means only one thing, you have failed to catch their attention and they just concentrate on being comfortable on their seats.
 A director once told me that ''you don't want your audience comfortable, you want them on the edge of their seat. Eager to drink the words that will come out of your mouth''. His words stayed with me through the years, echoing through every performance and always on my mind, keeping me motivated and in the pursuit of achieving them.
 So this experience, like any other, is finished. Leaving me emotionally exhausted but simultaneously excited and wanting more. Because regardless of the countless hours of preparation, of the constantly doubting and improving, nothing beats the pleasure of a standing ovation.
 And for those who are still riddled why I do what I do, the only reply that comes to mind are the immortal words of Oscar Wilde, ''It was only in the theater that I lived''.

KISSES!

E.